In today’s world, engaging in open and honest conversation has become increasingly challenging. It’s difficult to know what one can or cannot say without offending someone. Our culture seems to be walking on eggshells to avoid offending. This heightened sensitivity has led some to advocate for censored speech, aiming to prevent any possibility of offending others.
Conversely, there’s a growing counter-cultural movement where individuals swing to the opposite extreme. Frustrated by political correctness, they speak and act without regard for the impact of their words, indifferent to whom they might hurt. This polarization begs the question: How should we, as people of God, navigate this landscape? How can we be the light in a world overshadowed by offense and insensitivity?
The answer lies not in aligning with either extreme but in centering ourselves on God’s Word. As the Lord instructed Joshua, we must not turn to the right or the left but stay firmly rooted in His teachings (Joshua 1:7). To address the issue of offense effectively, we must first understand what it is and where it comes from.
Defining An Offense
“A brother offended (pasha) is harder to win than a strong city,
And contentions are like the bars of a castle.” - Proverbs 18:19
The Hebrew word often translated as “offense” in the previous Scripture is) “pasha”.
The word pasha is also translated as trespassing and conveys the idea of someone crossing another person’s boundary in a manner that causes harm, shame, or loss. It’s not merely about hurt feelings; it’s about violating trust or causing significant damage to a relationship. Additionally, pasha could be actions or words that could cause someone else to stumble and fall into sin.
The Origins of Offense
“It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!” - Luke 17:1
In teaching His disciples Yeshua acknowledged that in a fallen world, offenses are inevitable. They will arise often and from various sources. However, we can categorize them into two primary groups:
1. Offense When God’s Word Exposes Sin
The first category of offense is seen when people take offense when their sins are brought to light by the truth of God’s Word. This reaction is not new; it has been a common human response to God’s Word since the fall of man. One notable example of this from Scripture is when John the Baptist boldly confronted King Herod for marrying his brother’s wife, a direct violation of God’s law. The offense here wasn’t due to John’s approach but because the truth exposed their sin.
Yeshua and the Pharisees
Similarly, Yeshua frequently faced opposition from the Pharisees and religious leaders. They were offended because His teachings challenged their traditions and interpretations of the law.
“Then His disciples came and said to Him, ‘Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?’” — Matthew 15:12
They prioritized human traditions over divine instructions, and Yeshua’s adherence to God’s truth exposed their hypocrisy.
Our Response
When we encounter people who are offended by the truth of God’s Word, our approach should be twofold:
2. Offense Caused by Hurtful Actions or Words
The second type of offense arises when someone says or does something that causes another person hurt, shame, or loss. This kind of offense can lead the offended party to harbor resentment, retaliate, or even stumble in their own walk with God.
Yeshua’s Warning About Stumbling Blocks
In Luke 17:1-2, Yeshua addresses this issue directly:
“It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea than that he should offend one of these little ones.”
Here, Yeshua strongly cautions us against being the source of the offense that causes others to fall. Similarly, the apostle Paul also encourages us not to use our freedoms carelessly or in a way that causes others to stumble.
“But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.” — 1 Corinthians 8:9
Resolving An Offense
Understanding the origins of offense leads us to consider how we should respond, both as potential offenders and as those who might be offended.
Avoid Intentionally Offending Others
The first thing that we must do is to be mindful of our actions and words, ensuring that our own behavior does not cause others unnecessary offense. This is easier to do when we are mindful that we have been commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves (Leviticus 19:18). This love is proactive and considers the well-being of others before speaking or acting.
Seek Reconciliation
In the event that we do offend someone with our words or behavior, Yeshua taught that we should be quick to make amends with those we’ve offended:
“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” — Matthew 5:23-24
In the previous verse, Yeshua instructed us to prioritize reconciliation with a person who has been offended by us over bringing God an offering. The main idea here is that asking God to forgive us for sinning against our neighbor does not absolve us from seeking the forgiveness of the person who we have trespassed against.
Do Not Be Easily Offended
Just as we should avoid causing offense, we are also called to resist the temptation to be easily offended. In order to do this effectively we must be mindful of offering others grace in a way that reflects the grace that we have ourselves received from God.
“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
— Matthew 5:39
With this saying Yeshua was teaching us not to retaliate or harbor resentment when we are offended, but to exhibit patience and forgiveness and in doing so we mirror the grace and forgiveness that God extends to us.
The Divine Antidote To Offense
Forgiveness is the divine antidote to offense. It heals wounds, restores relationships, and reflects God’s character. The Hebrew word for forgive is “nasa” )and it means to pardon an offense. However, it also means to “to lift,” “to carry,” or “to bear.” It is the idea of lifting the burden of offense from someone, relieving them of the weight of guilt and shame. It is an active process of releasing others from the debt they owe us because of their trespass against us.
Yeshua bearing the burden of our sin on the cross was the greatest demonstration of “nasa” (forgiveness).
“Surely He has “borne” (nasa) our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.”
— Isaiah 53:4
The word translated as “borne” in the previous verse is “nasa”. He lifted the burden of sin from humanity once and for all and with the crushing weight of sin being removed we can now boldly approach the throne of God.
Our Call to Forgive Others
In the same way that God’s love and forgiveness were demonstrated to us through Christ, God’s love and forgiveness should also be demonstrated to others through us. The greatest evidence that we believe God has lifted the burden of our sins is that we forgive others of their trespasses against us.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” — Matthew 6:14-15
In the previous Scripture Yeshua taught us that God will forgive us and remove our burdens to the degree that we are also willing to forgive others and help remove their burdens. In other words, whenever you are tempted to hold a grudge against someone who has offended you, you should also consider if it is also worth God holding a grudge against you.
The Centurion’s Revelation
During all of Yeshua’s years of campaigning for the Kingdom, there were many people who believed for various reasons. Some believed when they saw Him fed 5000 with two fish and five loaves of bread. Others believed when they heard Him preach. Others still believed when they saw Him raise Lazarus from the dead. But one of the most interesting cases of someone coming to believe that He was the son of God was a Roman centurion, who came to faith when He saw Jesus die.
This particular centurion had likely taken part in many scourgings and crucifixions. He’d seen the common reaction of men who were mocked, spat on, and whipped as they endured unimaginable pain and suffering. He’d seen men yell vulgarities and plead for mercy from their tormentors. What he had never witnessed before was a man endure this level of suffering the way that Yeshua did. He had never experienced a man not responding to any of their offenses against them. He’d never seen someone being crucified ask God to forgive those who were torturing and murdering him of their sins.
“So when the centurion, who stood opposite Him, saw that He cried out like this and breathed His last, he said, Truly this Man was the Son of God” — Mark 15:39
The word translated as truly in the previous verse is the Greek word “alethos” and it is also translated as surely or to identify a truth. The first time this word was used in the New Testament is in Matthew 14:33 when some of the disciples declared that “truly” Jesus was the son of God after they saw him walk on the sea. The Centurion didn’t believe because He saw Yeshua heal the sick or raise the dead. He didn’t believe because He prophesied to him the way that He did to Nicodemus or because he saw Him walk on water. He believed because He forgave him for torturing and murdering him.
Have you considered that one of the reasons that God may have allowed you to endure an offense, is because it may be a part of His divine strategy to make someone “truly” believe? Because your love for someone and your love for God was greater than any of their trespasses against you.
In a world fraught with offense and division, we are called to be ambassadors of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18). But how can we help others to be reconciled with God if we don’t first pursue reconciliation with others?
Let us remember that our actions and reactions are a testament to the God we serve. When we choose not to cause offense intentionally and refuse to be easily offended, we reflect the heart of Yeshua. By lifting the burdens of others through forgiveness (nasa), we help continue the redemptive work that He initiated on the cross.
_______________________________
Conversely, there’s a growing counter-cultural movement where individuals swing to the opposite extreme. Frustrated by political correctness, they speak and act without regard for the impact of their words, indifferent to whom they might hurt. This polarization begs the question: How should we, as people of God, navigate this landscape? How can we be the light in a world overshadowed by offense and insensitivity?
The answer lies not in aligning with either extreme but in centering ourselves on God’s Word. As the Lord instructed Joshua, we must not turn to the right or the left but stay firmly rooted in His teachings (Joshua 1:7). To address the issue of offense effectively, we must first understand what it is and where it comes from.
Defining An Offense
“A brother offended (pasha) is harder to win than a strong city,
And contentions are like the bars of a castle.” - Proverbs 18:19
The Hebrew word often translated as “offense” in the previous Scripture is) “pasha”.
The word pasha is also translated as trespassing and conveys the idea of someone crossing another person’s boundary in a manner that causes harm, shame, or loss. It’s not merely about hurt feelings; it’s about violating trust or causing significant damage to a relationship. Additionally, pasha could be actions or words that could cause someone else to stumble and fall into sin.
The Origins of Offense
“It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!” - Luke 17:1
In teaching His disciples Yeshua acknowledged that in a fallen world, offenses are inevitable. They will arise often and from various sources. However, we can categorize them into two primary groups:
1. Offense When God’s Word Exposes Sin
The first category of offense is seen when people take offense when their sins are brought to light by the truth of God’s Word. This reaction is not new; it has been a common human response to God’s Word since the fall of man. One notable example of this from Scripture is when John the Baptist boldly confronted King Herod for marrying his brother’s wife, a direct violation of God’s law. The offense here wasn’t due to John’s approach but because the truth exposed their sin.
Yeshua and the Pharisees
Similarly, Yeshua frequently faced opposition from the Pharisees and religious leaders. They were offended because His teachings challenged their traditions and interpretations of the law.
“Then His disciples came and said to Him, ‘Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?’” — Matthew 15:12
They prioritized human traditions over divine instructions, and Yeshua’s adherence to God’s truth exposed their hypocrisy.
Our Response
When we encounter people who are offended by the truth of God’s Word, our approach should be twofold:
- Prayer: We must pray that the Holy Spirit convicts them of their sin, leading them to repentance (John 16:8-9)
- Continue To Be A Faithful Witness: Continue to share the truth in love and grace, embodying the compassion of our Savior.
2. Offense Caused by Hurtful Actions or Words
The second type of offense arises when someone says or does something that causes another person hurt, shame, or loss. This kind of offense can lead the offended party to harbor resentment, retaliate, or even stumble in their own walk with God.
Yeshua’s Warning About Stumbling Blocks
In Luke 17:1-2, Yeshua addresses this issue directly:
“It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea than that he should offend one of these little ones.”
Here, Yeshua strongly cautions us against being the source of the offense that causes others to fall. Similarly, the apostle Paul also encourages us not to use our freedoms carelessly or in a way that causes others to stumble.
“But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.” — 1 Corinthians 8:9
Resolving An Offense
Understanding the origins of offense leads us to consider how we should respond, both as potential offenders and as those who might be offended.
Avoid Intentionally Offending Others
The first thing that we must do is to be mindful of our actions and words, ensuring that our own behavior does not cause others unnecessary offense. This is easier to do when we are mindful that we have been commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves (Leviticus 19:18). This love is proactive and considers the well-being of others before speaking or acting.
Seek Reconciliation
In the event that we do offend someone with our words or behavior, Yeshua taught that we should be quick to make amends with those we’ve offended:
“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” — Matthew 5:23-24
In the previous verse, Yeshua instructed us to prioritize reconciliation with a person who has been offended by us over bringing God an offering. The main idea here is that asking God to forgive us for sinning against our neighbor does not absolve us from seeking the forgiveness of the person who we have trespassed against.
Do Not Be Easily Offended
Just as we should avoid causing offense, we are also called to resist the temptation to be easily offended. In order to do this effectively we must be mindful of offering others grace in a way that reflects the grace that we have ourselves received from God.
“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
— Matthew 5:39
With this saying Yeshua was teaching us not to retaliate or harbor resentment when we are offended, but to exhibit patience and forgiveness and in doing so we mirror the grace and forgiveness that God extends to us.
The Divine Antidote To Offense
Forgiveness is the divine antidote to offense. It heals wounds, restores relationships, and reflects God’s character. The Hebrew word for forgive is “nasa” )and it means to pardon an offense. However, it also means to “to lift,” “to carry,” or “to bear.” It is the idea of lifting the burden of offense from someone, relieving them of the weight of guilt and shame. It is an active process of releasing others from the debt they owe us because of their trespass against us.
Yeshua bearing the burden of our sin on the cross was the greatest demonstration of “nasa” (forgiveness).
“Surely He has “borne” (nasa) our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.”
— Isaiah 53:4
The word translated as “borne” in the previous verse is “nasa”. He lifted the burden of sin from humanity once and for all and with the crushing weight of sin being removed we can now boldly approach the throne of God.
Our Call to Forgive Others
In the same way that God’s love and forgiveness were demonstrated to us through Christ, God’s love and forgiveness should also be demonstrated to others through us. The greatest evidence that we believe God has lifted the burden of our sins is that we forgive others of their trespasses against us.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” — Matthew 6:14-15
In the previous Scripture Yeshua taught us that God will forgive us and remove our burdens to the degree that we are also willing to forgive others and help remove their burdens. In other words, whenever you are tempted to hold a grudge against someone who has offended you, you should also consider if it is also worth God holding a grudge against you.
The Centurion’s Revelation
During all of Yeshua’s years of campaigning for the Kingdom, there were many people who believed for various reasons. Some believed when they saw Him fed 5000 with two fish and five loaves of bread. Others believed when they heard Him preach. Others still believed when they saw Him raise Lazarus from the dead. But one of the most interesting cases of someone coming to believe that He was the son of God was a Roman centurion, who came to faith when He saw Jesus die.
This particular centurion had likely taken part in many scourgings and crucifixions. He’d seen the common reaction of men who were mocked, spat on, and whipped as they endured unimaginable pain and suffering. He’d seen men yell vulgarities and plead for mercy from their tormentors. What he had never witnessed before was a man endure this level of suffering the way that Yeshua did. He had never experienced a man not responding to any of their offenses against them. He’d never seen someone being crucified ask God to forgive those who were torturing and murdering him of their sins.
“So when the centurion, who stood opposite Him, saw that He cried out like this and breathed His last, he said, Truly this Man was the Son of God” — Mark 15:39
The word translated as truly in the previous verse is the Greek word “alethos” and it is also translated as surely or to identify a truth. The first time this word was used in the New Testament is in Matthew 14:33 when some of the disciples declared that “truly” Jesus was the son of God after they saw him walk on the sea. The Centurion didn’t believe because He saw Yeshua heal the sick or raise the dead. He didn’t believe because He prophesied to him the way that He did to Nicodemus or because he saw Him walk on water. He believed because He forgave him for torturing and murdering him.
Have you considered that one of the reasons that God may have allowed you to endure an offense, is because it may be a part of His divine strategy to make someone “truly” believe? Because your love for someone and your love for God was greater than any of their trespasses against you.
In a world fraught with offense and division, we are called to be ambassadors of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18). But how can we help others to be reconciled with God if we don’t first pursue reconciliation with others?
Let us remember that our actions and reactions are a testament to the God we serve. When we choose not to cause offense intentionally and refuse to be easily offended, we reflect the heart of Yeshua. By lifting the burdens of others through forgiveness (nasa), we help continue the redemptive work that He initiated on the cross.
_______________________________
Anderick and Shirron Biddle are the best-selling authors of “Marriage Works: 7 Steps to Renovate Your Marriage”. They are also the founders of Marriage Renovators, through which they offer courses, coaching and retreats to help Christian couples build strong and lasting relationships.
You can learn more about their ministry and resources that they provide to help Christian couples at www.marriagerenovators.com
You can learn more about their ministry and resources that they provide to help Christian couples at www.marriagerenovators.com
